ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION AND SILDENAFIL

Dear Umslopogus,

I am writing this essay especially for you because I want you to know the difference between me and you; the difference between good and evil; the difference between god and the devil. I have no doubt that you have been following my life since we met on the 6th of July 2003 at Marxism in London. I will make it even clearer, you approached me after you spoke about the plight of South Africans at a meeting that I attended and I also contributed in agreement with you. You seemed a kind person, so I confided in you and I also believed what you told me about your personal and political life. However, less than two months of that meeting you had the audacity to call me a liar and a prostitute. What you had seen in that period was a happy and carefree Florence, but you did not give yourself a chance to know the other Florence. So far I am sure you know the vengeful Florence as witnessed by you and your friends since you betrayed my trust. Now, this is a glimpse of the serious and professional Florence. I am talking about erectile dysfunction here because you and your friends have maniacally been sending me spam on erectile dysfunction, sex and Viagra since August 2003. I am now exorcising your demons and clearing my character that you and your friends were trying to assassinate. As you can see, my blog name is RESPECT, because I respect myself and others. So take a leaf Mr. Umslopogus, a man who is worse than ten Shylocks in greed and evilness:

My love/hate relationship with Viagra

I have worked in general practice as a nurse since 1994. I have studied literally everything that a nurse needs to know to work in GP practice. I completed my Minor Illness course at Diploma level in 1998 and went on to do the same course at degree level as part of my Specialist Practitioner course in 2001 and that meant updating oneself on the anatomy and physiology of human body including aetiology, the science and study of the causes of disease and their mode of operation. On the genital system, I recall some of my colleagues blushing when discussing sexual dysfunction. These were experienced and adult Practice nurses. I did not blush because I was already running diabetic clinics and dealing with male impotence, as I had already completed my Diploma in diabetes. By that time I was already aware that there are many causes of male impotence and diabetes is one of them. In our diabetic clinics we incorporated this problem and that meant advising men of what was available to help them and showing them how to use the gargets that were available then to help them have an erection. Sexual dysfunction therefore is not an illness but a symptom whose cause as I have alluded to can be anything from conditions like diabetes, but can also include lifestyle or side effects from medication just to name a few. As far as I am concerned therefore, there is no taboo when dealing with sexual dysfunction. So what is sexual dysfunction or erectile dysfunction and why do I love and hate Viagra?

Let me quote this passage from the reading book that we used when we were studying our approach to Minor Illness on the Genital System: For men the questions focus on local symptoms and on sexual function
“Ask about any discharge from the penis, dripping, or staining of the underwear. If discharge is present, ascertain the amount, its colour and consistency, and any associated symptoms. Inquire about sores or growths on the penis and any swelling or pain in the scrotum. These symptoms raise the question of sexually transmitted diseases. Ask about previous symptoms or a past history of disease such as herpes, gonorrhea and syphilis. When risk factors for HIV infection are present, ask about sexual preference, desire for HIV testing and partners at risk.”
Bickley (1999); Bate’s guide to Physical Examination and History taking; 7th ed page 66 Lippincott.

That was an eye opener for me; hence I did my practical experience at the local Genital Urinary Clinic. From a nurse whose concern about male sexual health was in dealing with male impotence whose aetiology was medically or disease induced I became someone passionate overnight about both erectile dysfunction and sexual health issues. However, the medical world soon got revolutionarised by the pharmaceutical breakthrough in treating impotence – VIAGRA came on the market as the wonder drug. No more pumps or stupid gargets for those who had the misfortune of experiencing impotence. Pop the pill and bob is your uncle. From the medical point of view that was dynamic. From my clinical point of view, this made our job easier, so how can I hate Viagra? Now you see where my passion is Mr. Umslopogus? It is in promoting health and well being, not in brothel houses for a start. So that clears me from being this prostitute that you were trying to create.

Since I started writing my blog I have done nothing but whinge about how hard done by I have felt since my experience of July 2003, thanks to you Mr. In July 2003 I met you an arsehole and a dickhead and you got your hands into my knickers and then turned round and called me a prostitute. For the sake of Viagra I will change my tune, because that seems to be the disease that is affecting people like you. I am a normal human being who knows the difference between professional duties and personal needs, something you don't. When educating my patients on sexual health issues including the use of Viagra, I don’t use myself as a role model because that is what research is there for, a controlled and legal study is carried out by professional researchers. But you used yourself and your knowledge in politics to abuse others instead of teaching others politics as you claimed at the meeting you spoke at. But in my case, having equally witnessed the increasing number of sexually transmitted infections in the 21st century after completing my degree in 2002, I decided to be my own role model, i.e. not to preach what I don’t practice. It is easier to practice this when one is in a monogamous loving relation. Like many unhappily married people I had to admit to myself as far back as 1998 that my marriage was not working, and that spelt the end of our sexual relationship. I loved my husband alright, but as it turned out I love him more as a friend than as a husband and that inevitably meant a divorce. We just grew apart over the years as we found out that we had very few things in common, but for a white man he looks more of my brother than a lover, hence we still share the same house.

Those who have gone through a divorce will understand how difficult it is to remain faithful to oneself; hence the majority opt to jump from the ex to the new despite the rage they have against the failure of their marriage. I don’t believe in jumping from the fire into the frying pan. The breakdown of my marriage devastated me, I needed time to recover, and hence I chose to remain faithful to myself from 1998 until July 2003 by keeping my knickers on. Worse still, this was my second attempt at settling down with a man of my choice. But by July 2003 I felt comfortable with that old belief of 3rd time lucky, and also the fact that I had done everything to salvage my marriage and given my marriage enough time to die a natural death. Meeting someone else after a divorce is a strange thing. These kinds of meetings are weird and strange because there is no rhyme or reason to meeting and trusting a new person after many years in the comfort of a marriage, hence I trusted you and believed what you told me. Strangely, in such a situation one feels obliged to discuss why the previous relationship has failed. Mine did not fail because of erectile dysfunction; it failed because we just grew apart and wanted different things in life. Viagra was never discussed as it was of no importance in our married life.

By August 2003, I had three elephants in my bag; my in-depth knowledge of sexually transmitted infections, my pending divorce and erectile dysfunction. I love to discuss sex and sexually transmitted infections with any Jack and Jill as an opportunistic attempt to educate people; but at the same time you and your friends decided that I needed Viagra to have sex so as to catch a sexually transmitted infection. When I confided in you I had no idea that the little that I told you about my life was going to come back and bite my backside? The internet was still something new to me in 2003, so you can imagine the shock I had when you started bombarding with spam on sex and Viagra. At that time I was busy with my studies and licking my own wounds at the failure of my marriage. You must have been the busiest people on this planet because you have continued sending me spam and offers on Viagra for 7 years. Viagra is legally prescribed in the UK for those with impotence so why am I getting spam invitations to Viagra? I don’t hate Viagra; I prescribe it to patients who need it. What I find disgusting is this intrusion into my personal emails with invitations to Viagra. It is obvious therefore that you Umslopogus, who deviously convinced me with lies so as to get my knickers down went on to spread rumours that I needed Viagra. So, I will put everyone’s mind at rest, I don’t hate Viagra, I don’t need Viagra, I don’t need Sexually Transmitted Diseases, I am content with my life and I will have sex with the man of my choice when I want to, and I can assure everyone that we won’t need Viagra either.

I have deliberately allowed you and your friends to abuse me for the world to see what kind of insanity we have on this planet; where men and women, some with PhDs, others with responsible and professional positions spending 7 years of their lives abusing an innocent woman. You even tried to abuse my son. So, how does it feel now that I have exposed you and your friends as the devil? In reality, only you owe me an explanation big time Mr. Umslopogus. The only problem now is that I have not time to listen to you. I have now exorcised all of you and your demons and I am back to my life pre July 2003. Besides, I feel obliged to be grateful to you and your lies because fighting you and your evil friends has revolutionarised my life, I have met new friends and I can now marry my old life with my new life and have fun. Now, look at this to understand how I am passionate about health and my job: This is an extract from an email to a friend I met in the SWP:

Proactive Management of Type 2 diabetes
"This is how tight my educational schedule is; next month I have another nurse forum after work where we discuss the latest research on COPD/Asthma and the Respiratory system. It is followed a week later by an update at my old Uni South Bank by a study day on Family Planning and the speaker is my favourite Family Planning guru Prof John Guillebaud whose books are our Family Planning bibles, and in May I have another study day on Women's health. In April it’s off to Bolivia, Amancay a Bolivian comrade living in the UK, who also told me that she was driven out of the SWP and became a vocal member of the Bolivian Solidarity Campaign has asked me to team up with her. Like me she wanted to be part of a political movement that has broader political views than sucking up to the sectarian politics of the Lindsey/Reesos. Aren't I glad that these devils are gone and I mean here gone for good, never to come back. In the Climate campaign, I have built a strong relationship with Jonathan Neale and Martin Empson who I am confident will work with me as a comrade not as a black woman to be witch hunted and sexually abused by perverts and nutcases."

I had a life before I came across your curse. Strangely you guys felt that I had no history and that you could create one for me. This is evilness with a curse; hence I kindly return that curse back to you as I don't need it. I am not an evil person, never have and never will. Neither have I ever been promiscuous or a liar. Tell your friends that I don't need their offer of Viagra - thank you very much.

PLEASE KEEP YOUR PROMSCUITY AND YOUR SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED INFECTIONS TO YOURSELVES.

With all my love,

Florence Durrant
Specialist Practice Nurse